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    June 03

    come back

        所谓懒人,应该就是很贴切的在形容我了吧~很长一段时间忽略了这块地方,直到最近才发现荒废的过了头,其实这很符合我一贯的风格,我大概一辈子也就这样浑浑噩噩。和烧鸡,肥鹅一起去面试,我们都对考官的问题发怵,说是在的没抱太多的希望,就是觉得要是成了,大概至少可以荒废掉一个星期不上课!很多人都说我很有机会,大概吧,天晓得结果会是什么样的,连续不断的上课几乎快让我崩溃了,终于第一次深切地感受到了疲惫,这几天回到家的第一件事就是睡觉,不过好像怎么也睡不醒的样子,突然有一种很消极的想法,希望以后都不要再醒过来了,当然,这只是假想而已,我承认自己很胆小。
        前天看到初中的小朋友们在大礼堂欢度六一,初三的毕业生在开结业典礼的时候,忽然有种想要回到过去的冲动,其实几年前,我也和他们一样,鄙视无聊的六一集会,漠视煽情的结业典礼,只是可笑的是,现在我却无比想要回到它们之间。寂地在绘本中用阳光下的雪花来暗示瞬间的美好,那时候我还太幼稚,执著的相信永恒的存在,但也许时间已经在这份永恒上镀上了斑斑锈迹,再也看不见了。
        记得每一次的随笔都是我最渴望的语文作业,在我心里,随笔和作文是完全不一样的,人的大脑一旦被禁锢了,就会被束缚,一片被框定了思想的随笔就是作文,这或许就是我的作文永远也写不好的原因,我喜欢自由的语言,也不觉得有思想的作文会比词藻华丽差,当我给作文下了我的定义后,他就注定了是一篇我喜欢的低分作文。
        也许我应该屈服于现实的温暖。

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